If someone is unable to forgive, would you consider that to be a weakness in his character?
It takes time to become more proficient in any virtue, according to both Thomas Aquinas and Aristotle. As a result, we all have a certain “character weakness” as we are constantly working on improving our ability to forgive, or to be courageous, or to be more fair.
What does it mean to “become more proficient”? As we repeatedly exercise forgiveness and develop as forgivers, we:
1) have a deeper understanding of what forgiveness is and is not;
2) are more inclined to put it into practice even in the face of considerable grief brought on by major injustices;
3) proceed through the process more efficiently; and
4) finish the process more fully so that, after forgiving one person for one unjust incident, we feel less bitterness and more compassion.
We should be understanding of individuals who find it difficult to forgive as we are all at different stages of the forgiveness process. A person’s current struggles do not indicate a lack of moral character. Alternatively, it could imply that a person is developing in the moral virtue of forgiveness and is encountering a challenge on this particular path with a particular person. This does not imply that the person will experience difficulties with a different person or situation tomorrow. Each of us is becoming more and more proficient in this virtue as we willingly say yes to it and then practice it.
