A close cousin of mine has a terrible habit. “Please forgive me for this,” he begs me before criticizing me more. How can one forgive someone who plans out their meanness in advance and then acts on it? This kind of thing is difficult for me to forgive.

I can appreciate how frustrated you are. The relative clearly knows that this will cause you pain, but still proceeds. It is evident that he knows this could hurt you because he would not have asked for your forgiveness in advance. This is an obvious issue of injustice for you. Given the circumstances, it would be wise to attempt to forgive him even if you know it might take longer due to the continuing unjust context. At the same time, try to exercise justice, after you have a forgiving heart, so that you can ask for fairness in a temperate and gentle way.

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