It seems to me that the forgiveness process could be harmful. Here is what I mean: When I focus on the one who hurt me, I get angry with him. I would rather just forget about the unjust event and forget about the person. What do you think?
In my experience, when people are deeply hurt by others, no matter how far they run from the offending person, that person remains in the victim’s heart. This can continue for many years. The idea of forgetting about the person can occur in the mind, with denial and subconscious suppression of that person, but that person remains in the heart, in the area of feelings, including resentment. In other words, no matter how hard one tries to erase the person, there he is inside the victim. It is in forgiving that you unlock that door to the heart and let the person out, at least all the bad and even hateful feelings toward him. In forgiving, you rewrite the script of who this person is. Instead of seeing him exclusively as bad, you take a wider view and eventually see the inherent worth in him as a person. This wider view can set you free from the stubborn resentment that just won’t quit.
