May I ask a further question? Yes, I did my “very best” at the time of the break-up with my partner and so we split. This now is a year later and I am seeing evidence that this former partner of mine has changed for the better. We are both still available. Can I somehow change the break-up, and how would forgiveness fit into that? Should I ask my former partner to forgive me for the break-up?
I think seeing if you can both work your way back together is reasonable, given your description of this person’s current behaviors. I do not think that you should ask for forgiveness for the break-up because you did nothing wrong in initiating it. In other words, you did not behave unjustly. The other person is going to have to own the unjust behavior from the past and see that you were behaving in a fair way by separating. The other will need the moral virtue of humility to accept what this person did as wrong in the past. If this occurs, then yes, both of you may be able to move on from there to a genuinely respectful relationship.
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