Do you ever find that anyone actually starts the forgiveness process for anything other than the self-interest of feeling better?
First, we have to realize that the self-interest to which you refer is not a selfish process. As an analogy, if you sprain your ankle and go to a physician for help, this is self-care, not selfishness. I do find that such self-care is a strong motivation for many people to forgive. Yet, I also see situations in which people, who have practiced forgiveness for a long time, forgive expressly for the one who acted unfairly. These forgivers see the depth of forgiveness and want the best for the one who behaved badly.
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