What risks come when attempting to reconcile with someone who has previously shown himself to be unreliable?
Here are three issues for your consideration:
1. You risk being harmed again in the same manner if you make a hasty reconciliation without the other party expressing regret, contrition, or considering recompense.
2. Please remember that reconciliation and forgiveness are not the same thing. Even if you have the deepest forgiveness, you won’t be able to make amends if the other person still poses a threat to you. If you confuse the two, you might feel a mistaken sense of obligation to make amends as you extend forgiveness.
3. False reconciliation can be used as a kind of power game if you are still angry and unwilling to forgive. This involves coming together in a superficial manner and then continuously reminding him how inappropriate he has been and how wonderful you have been. For this reason, a genuine reconciliation is likely to occur only after forgiveness has taken place.
