I think that feelings of guilt, within temperate bounds, actually is healthy.  In other words, a person who feels guilty can take action to correct a wrong.  Given that this is the case, might my forgiving someone be ill-advised since I think those who do wrong should feel guilty?

When you forgive, you are not asking a person to feel no guilt because of the unfair treatment.  A healthy way to forgive is to offer mercy and then to ask for fairness.  This seeking fairness is not part of forgiveness, but rather is part of the moral virtue of justice, which can coexist with forgiveness.  Once the other person sees, acknowledges, and changes the unfairness, then it is appropriate to help the person reduce the guilty feelings.  Forgiving a person will not create a false sense of guilt reduction if you proceed with the request for fairness, in the hope the other responds positively to this.

Please follow and like us:
author avatar
directorifi
Categories: Ask Dr. ForgivenessTags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *