I am wondering if I have truly forgiven my partner for a serious betrayal or whether I am simply engaging in the psychological defense mechanism of denial. Can you help me with this?
Yes, here are some questions for you to discern genuine forgiveness from denial:
A) Have you committed to doing no harm to your partner? This often is a sign that the forgiveness process has begun.
B) Do you see your partner through a wider angle lens than just defining the person by the serious betrayal? In other words, do you see that your partner has inherent or built-in worth?
C) Are you hoping that your partner has a good life despite the betrayal?
All of these are indications that you are not simply denying what happened, but instead you are forgiving because you are being positive in terms of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors toward the person.
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