Is it selfish for me to forgive for my own benefit?
Forgiveness itself is the free-will decision to be good to those who have been unfair. This is exercising the moral virtues of mercy (giving more than what is deserved in justice) and, at its highest level, agape love (trying to do good to the other even when it is painful to do so). Therefore, these qualities, offered to someone who hurt you, are anything but selfish. We have to distinguish here what forgiveness is and some of the motivations for forgiving. If you need emotional relief, it certainly is acceptable to begin the forgiveness process with this motivation. At the same time, as you start to forgive genuinely, you are reaching out in mercy to that other person, which is for that person rather than for you. So, to have a motivation of self-protection is not selfish.
