How can I “bear the pain” when doing so makes me want to throw it back to the one who gave it to me?
Bearing the pain in the forgiveness process does not happen quickly. It usually emerges in our Work Phase after the person has taken time to cognitively see the other as possessing worth as a person, which eventually can lead to even a small amount of compassion toward this other person. Only then do we suggest bearing the pain so that you do not pass it back to the other or displace it onto unsuspecting other people. If you are not ready to bear the pain, try to go back to earlier parts of the forgiveness process and work on your thinking about who the other person is beyond the injustice and your emotional reactions, as they soften.
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