When treated unfairly by others, is it reasonable to expect the one who was unfair to do something about that behavior?
There are differences among expecting the other to change, insisting on such change, and hoping for the change. If you hope the other changes, without expecting or demanding it, then you are free to forgive and to unburden yourself from resentment, even if the other person remains unrepentant. When you expect change, even though you do not demand it, you tend to wait over time for a change from the other that never comes. Through this expectation, you might not get closure regarding what happened. In other words, you might hesitate to forgive and to be unburdened until the other does something to right the wrong. If you insist on the other’s change, this is more confrontational than waiting with expectation. If you insist, then you might be trapping yourself in unforgiveness until those demands are met, which may not come. Hoping for change is leaving yourself open to a possible reconciliation with the other, but you still can go forward with unconditional forgiveness even if the other refuses to change.
