I emailed you a couple of weeks ago about my partner, who refuses to discuss the deep hurt that he experienced at work. I have been waiting and loving him, but no progress at this point. Can you give me more pointers for opening him up to the possibility of forgiving those at work who hurt him?

You do not want to pressure your partner into forgiving. At the same time, you do not necessarily want to ignore your partner who could be better off psychologically by considering forgiveness, as you are aware. I recommend that you be aware of his inner pain. When he expresses that pain (as fatigue or bodily tensions or deep anger), you could focus on that pain and ask him if he has a way of reducing or eliminating that pain. If he has no effective strategies in mind, it is then that you might consider suggesting forgiving as a way to get rid of the pain. I have found that pain is a great motivator toward healing and forgiving is one path to that healing.

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