I understand that part of the definition of forgiving someone is to have compassion on that person. If I feel no compassion for this person, does this mean that I am not actually forgiving?
We have to make an important distinction between what forgiveness is in its fullness (what Aristotle would call the Essence of forgiveness) and how we practically and with imperfection forgive. If you have the motivation to forgive, if you are making a commitment to do no harm to the person, and if you are striving to reduce excessive anger, you are on the forgiveness path. Yes, there is still room for growth in forgiveness, but as Aristotle reminds us, we are all imperfect forgivers. You do not have to complete all aspects of the definition of what deep, genuine forgiveness is to be forgiving. As an analogy, if you try to become physically fit, you do not need to run a marathon your first month in this process to say that this is the only way to be physical fitness. It is similar with forgiveness. We are on a challenging pathway and we do not reach its heights easily or quickly when deeply hurt by others.
