You discuss both pursuing justice and being forgiving at the same time. Since I’m Asian, I know that asking one’s own parent for justice is utterly insulting. Even thinking about forgiving a parent is challenging since it implies that this parent is immoral, which is something I have been raised to never do in my society. What happens next?

It’s crucial, in my opinion, to draw a line between criticizing the parent and accepting that everyone makes mistakes. Being imperfect is not a reason for condemnation. It follows that your parent will occasionally make errors or even do the wrong thing if you are able to accept that they are fallible. After that, you can pardon while being aware that this is not meant to be disrespectful or judgmental. It’s actually an effort to regard your parent as valuable people in spite of their flaws. This, in my opinion, shows respect for the parent as a deserving individual.

That being said, we now have to address the problem of never approaching a parent to request a behavior modification. It seems to rely on how you go about doing it. By adhering to the principles in the opening paragraph, you can approach a parent in a helpful manner rather than an accusing one. Let’s say your parent consistently treats you harshly. Is it possible for you to say something along the lines of, “Yes, I will try to do better.” I sincerely hope that you will recognize the goodness in me.” Put differently, you are highlighting an aspect of yourself for the parent to see. That is not then correcting your parent.

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