To be honest with you, I fear my anger, even though I know that in order to forgive, I must face my anger toward the person who wronged me. Because the person who hurt me was so cruel, repeatedly, I’m afraid I might lose control. I dislike being afraid of myself. Please assist me in getting over this.

First of all, you should acknowledge one very positive thing: you know that you are furious. Some people try to hide how angry they are, which makes it harder to let go of the anger. Ultimately, if you are diminishing the anger, how can you lessen it? What should you do if you have a deep cut on your arm and you’re worried about getting an infection? Your fear is impeding healing if it hinders you to the point where you are unable to clean the wound and apply an antibiotic. Anger and injustices work similarly. More often than not, the issue is not anger itself, but rather fear of anger.

Please remember that forgiveness is a kind of antiseptic, a kind of cleansing agent that you do have against toxic anger. You will notice that the anger lessens as you continue to practice forgiveness. You have forgiveness to support you once more, even if the anger reappears. As your forgiveness improves through practice, you’ll find that you have less fear of your bad feelings because you’ll have a potent remedy for them. Savor the purifying effects of forgiveness.

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