I find that it is easier to forgive a person only after I first have sought and gotten revenge. I think it is unhealthy to forgive before I have had my revenge. What do you think about that?
I think you are confusing what forgiveness actually is. To forgive is to have mercy on the other. In sharp contrast is revenge in which you deliberately and severely punish the other. Revenge is not even justice because revenge is an intemperate (severe) form of the eye-for-an-eye form of giving back to the other what was unfortunately given to you. If you have sought and completed your intemperate form of justice, then where is the mercy? Try mercy by itself and then ask for a more accurate form of justice. I think you will be better off in terms of your own emotional health if you operate in this way. I think those who hurt you will be better off, too.