Why do you think so many parents so often insist on one child saying, “I’m sorry” before the other child is encouraged to offer forgiveness?  I ask because, in discussing your philosophy of forgiveness, you make the compelling point that forgiving is unconditional.  In other words, a person can go ahead and forgive without an apology.

I think this occurs frequently because parents have not been taught deeply about forgiveness.  If a parent hovers over two children, insisting on the apology and then implying a necessity for the other child to forgive quickly, this might set up false expectations in the children such as: a) forgiveness occurs quickly all the time; b) an apology is necessary; and c) they had better apologize, forgive, and reconcile very quickly or suffer the disappointment of the parent. As we know, if forgiveness is a process, then it can take some time, particularly if a child is very upset with another child.  This is one example of why it would be great to introduce forgiveness, understood deeply, to parents as well as to children.

Please follow and like us: