I learned from a friend that self-forgiveness is a means of justifying negative behavior so that it can continue. Is she right?
Some believe that self-forgiveness is improper because it is impossible to evaluate one’s own conduct objectively—that is, we are too prejudiced and self-interested to make the right decisions. We do, however, have a conscience that helps us, even though we are unable to observe our own deeds with perfect clarity. As a result, we can judge if our words and deeds are right or wrong. Accurate self-forgiveness allows us to acknowledge our offenses toward ourselves and others and take the necessary steps to make amends. To put it another way, self-forgiveness is more than just loving oneself. It also involves making amends for the harm the self-forgiver did to other people. Therefore, when self-forgiveness is correctly understood and applied, it is not a ruse to continue engaging in conduct that our conscience tells us is wrong.
