Sometimes, when I begin the process of forgiving someone, I later decide I’m not ready to forgive anymore. If I stop the forgiveness process for a while is this a bad thing to do? I mean, if I tell the other person that I will attempt to forgive him, I almost feel compelled to carry on with the process without any breaks in the action. I dislike being coerced into something as private as forgiving someone.
I want to politely challenge an assumption you hold. You are still in the process of forgiving even if you have changed your mind and decided not to forgive at this time. Occasionally, the process compels us to take much-needed pauses.
It takes work to forgive, so please take a break when you need it and try not to feel a sense of guilt in doing this.
Consider it in this manner. Let’s say you are embarking on a multi-day cross-country bicycle journey. Have you stopped being on the voyage after the first day, when you put your bicycle away and head to bed? Naturally, the response is no—you haven’t stopped. You are just at a point in your journey where you need to take a break.
Consider forgiveness in the same manner. There isn’t a race to the finish. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is a process that requires patience and downtime. Try to resist the need to be constantly vigilant when it comes to your forgiveness. Grant yourself permission to stop, to take a break, and then to begin again.
