I know that to forgive is not to excuse what the other person did.  I still worry that the one forgiven might misinterpret my forgiveness and think I am giving her permission to act unfairly.  Can you help me sort this out?

When you forgive and your anger is lessened, you can gently ask for her fairness. If you do not have deep anger in your heart, you will probably be able to deliver your message with a quiet tone, and your suggestions for her fairness will likely be reasonable. As she sees that you want to be treated fairly, she is less likely to interpret your forgiveness as excusing.

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