I am aware that during the Work Phase of forgiveness, I am to view the person who wronged me from what you refer to as a “larger perspective.” I want to know about the wounds they sustained as a child and as an adult. I then get to observe how these injuries have impacted me. I would like to know how I may stop thinking negatively if I always perceive other people as being harmed and as harming me.
In the act of forgiveness, individuals often consider the personal, global, and cosmic viewpoints regarding the individual who has wronged them. When considering the personal viewpoint, it is true that we advise the forgiver to recognize the pain experienced by the person who caused harm. If all we did was focus on his or her emotional wounds and on our own emotional wounds, you have an important point that we as forgivers may begin to see the world only in terms of people’s woundedness.
However, there’s more to our individual stories of forgiving as we progress further in the process. When we start to see things from a global standpoint, we begin to recognize the humanity of the other person. The person who has caused harm is unique, special, and irreplaceable in the world, just as you are. This is not a negative viewpoint, but a positive one. When we consider the cosmic perspective, we realize that all individuals are somehow interconnected, with the nature of this connection being influenced by our own personal beliefs, philosophy, and view of humanity. These various understandings of persons are detailed in the book “The Forgiving Life.”
When we engage in the process of forgiveness and consider the person who has wronged us from a broader viewpoint, it isn’t all negative. Yes, forgiveness entails acknowledging that people treat us unfairly and recognizing that they may be dealing with their own emotional wounds. At the same time, forgiveness entails recognizing that every individual, including the one who caused harm, possesses intrinsic value, which is a positive perspective.
