Do you think it is necessary for people to seek support prior to forgiving someone for a deep and hurtful offense? Do you think people can go ahead without support under this circumstance?
Because forgiveness has not been front-and-center in discussions within societies, it has been my experience that the vast majority of people actually misunderstand what forgiveness is, equating it, for example, with giving into others’ demands or just letting the injustice go. These are not what forgiveness is at all and so people do need guidance to first understand what forgiveness is and is not. This takes support in either the written or spoken word from people who have thought deeply about forgiveness. If the support person equates forgiveness with any form of reductionism (for example, forgiveness is only getting rid of anger or forgiveness is only a decision to forgive) then this is not adequate support. A fuller view of forgiveness is necessary for the one offering support if the forgiver truly will be helped. The broader view of forgiveness involves reducing negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors toward the offending person and developing more positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors toward that person. This does not mean excusing the other or even necessarily reconciling if the other remains harmful. Also, forgiveness is a process that can take time. Seek out the support of those who deeply understand forgiveness so that your forgiveness can be accurate and effective.
