You distinguish forgiveness and reconciliation, but I am wondering if linking the two is actually good for the one who keeps on offending. In other words, maybe you should emphasize that an offended person is doing something altruistic by withholding forgiveness until the other person changes. This gives the offender a chance to alter bad behavior. What do you think?
An offended person can ask the offending person to change whether or not that offended person first withholds forgiveness or not. In other words, I see no reason to make forgiving conditional on the offending person’s behavior if there are other avenues for assisting that person in changing unjust behavior. The offended person can be gentle and persistent in asking for change, even with forgiveness having been offered beforehand. Forgiving is not an open door for the offending person to keep on being unjust.
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