A friend of mine was having trouble with his partner. I recommended forgiveness. He came back to me about a week later and said he now has forgiven her. He said that he now has a “non-feeling” toward her and never wants to see her again. How can I encourage him to deepen his view of forgiving and be more compassionate?
Non-feeling is better than rage or hatred, but as you are implying in your question, it is not going very far in terms of forgiving. Compassion takes time to emerge and cannot be quickly changed at will. If he can willingly practice seeing his partner as a true human being with inherent worth, and this stays with him, then compassion may slowly emerge. Even if compassion emerges, he still may not want to reconcile if he mistrusts her in important ways.
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