Suppose three other people walk into a bar. The first person says, “I have tried and tried to love the one who hurt me, but I just cannot do it.” The second one says, “I, too, have tried to love the one who hurt me, but all I can offer is respect, including respectful conversations.” The third one says, “It took me a long time to develop a little love in my heart for the one who hurt me, but it is there.” Would you say that only the third person is forgiving?
No, I would not say that for this reason: To love (in the sense of agape or trying to help the other despite its challenges) is the Essence of what forgiveness is. We do not have to continually be on this high level to be forgiving. We can still hold this up as our goal, but it is hard to reach the goal. Here is an analogy to make this clearer: If the three people who walked into the bar are now striving to be physically fit, and if the first one works out three times a week and can only do 10 push-ups at a time, wouldn’t you agree that this person is engaging in physical fitness? The person has not reached a high level of fitness yet, but there is exercise toward improvement. The second one can do 20 push-ups, and the goal is 50. Would you not agree that this person, too, is engaged in physical fitness? The third person now can run a marathon and do 50 push-ups in a row. Just because this third person is more physically fit than the others does not mean that the others are not practicing physical fitness. The Essence of something is a goal and not necessarily a reality for everyone. It is the knowledge of what the Essence is and striving for it that is important. So, in summary, all three of the people who walk into the bar are practicing forgiveness.
