Question 8 of 10: Forgiveness can be learned quickly. I see very often on the Internet these kinds of titles: Forgiveness in 4 steps; Learn to Forgive in Six Easy Lessons. Are these correct?
The Internet is a double-edged sword. It can enlighten and quickly, but at the same time, it can mislead. When I searched the Internet for the definition and some general issues on forgiveness, I was surprised by a rising consensus in up to 10 areas, each of which seems odd to me. May I ask you to consider each one of these “discoveries” so that you can help me to understand better? Thank you in advance for your time.
If the other’s injustice does not deeply emotionally hurt a person, then it is possible to forgive quickly. When deeply hurt by others, forgiving takes time. For example, when Dr. Suzanne Freedman (Freedman & Enright, 1996) worked with incest survivors, she asked them to tell her when they truly feel, inside them, that they have forgiven. On the average, it took about one year of one-on-one forgiveness sessions between Dr. Freedman and each participant before they forgave. To grow in the moral virtue of forgiveness takes time.
Freedman, S. R., & Enright, R. D. (1996). Forgiveness as an intervention goal with incest survivors. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 64(5), 983-992.
