My husband had an affair.  Because we have three children, I do not want to divorce him.  In fact, I do think I have reconciled with him.  Yet, I sometimes feel consumed with anger toward the woman.  I have begun reading your book, The Forgiving Life.  What pointers do you have for me as I work through this book so that I can get the best out of it?  I am highly motivated to try forgiving.

Given your strong desire to forgive and move on, there is a considerable chance that you will do so. You most definitely possess the will to forgive, which is a necessary component of the healing process.  Regarding my book, The Forgiving Life, Chapter 10, The Forgiveness Pathway, contains the exercises for forgiving an individual. The ideal place to start would be Chapter 1, which guides you in discovering your inner love. Before you forgive someone who has profoundly wounded you, I begin by strengthening and fortifying you. Next, please read If You Are Traumatized, Chapter 2. It might provide you with answers to some of the difficult questions surrounding forgiveness. After reading Chapters 3–7, I strongly advise you to go straight to Chapter 10.

Ask your husband for assistance with this. You claim to have made amends with him. For this reason, he likely will be your ally. Discuss with him your experiences, particularly in relation to your answers to Chapters 1 and 10. These are the keys for you: forgiving others and learning to allow love to blossom within you.

I strongly advise you to start practicing forgiveness (from the material in Chapter 10) whenever you think about the woman. Never give up and keep going at this. Your determination is crucial to this endeavor. You’ll win.

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