Forgiveness involves change, but I find change to be scary.  I don’t understand my own situation, that change is scary for me.  What insights can you provide for me as I walk the path of forgiveness……and find it somewhat fearful?

For some people, keeping the status quo is comforting because it is predictable.  Change, in contrast, is not necessarily predictable.  We are not sure what our own inner world will be like if and when we forgive.  We are not sure what our relationship will be like with the one who is forgiven.  Yet, if you cultivate hope along with forgiveness, you then are likely to conclude this: Yes, I will change as I forgive, and that change is likely to be positive.  You can even lean on the scientific findings of people who have been treated deeply unjustly and have forgiven.  The science shows that the people end up with better mental health than before they started to walk the pathway of forgiving.  Let the science give you confidence that you can have hope for yourself in a positive way when you forgive.  Forgiveness also gives those who hurt us a new chance for a better relationship.  The future quality of that relationship is not only up to you but also up to the other to change for the better.

Please follow and like us:
author avatar
directorifi
Categories: Ask Dr. ForgivenessTags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *