I occasionally begin the process of forgiving someone but then decide I’m not ready to continue. Is this acceptable? If I tell the other person that I will attempt to forgive him, I almost feel compelled to continue. I dislike being coerced into doing something as intimate as forgiving someone.
I want to gently challenge your assumption. Just because you have decided to stop forgiving for the time being does not mean you are not actively involved in the forgiveness process. We occasionally take much-needed pauses as a result of that process.
Since forgiveness takes effort, please take a guilt-free break when you need it.
Consider it this way. Imagine that you have many days to do a cross-country bike journey. Have you stopped traveling once the first day is over and you’ve put your bike away and gone to bed? Naturally, the answer is that you haven’t stopped the actual bike ride. You’re just at a point in your journey where you need to take a break.
Consider forgiveness in this manner as well. The race to the finish line is not a sprint. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is a journey that requires time, during which we rest. Don’t give in to the pressure to be forgiving all the time. You probably will enjoy the voyage more if you give yourself permission to take a break, regroup, and then continue.
