What does it mean to have a change of heart toward the one who offended me?  Can I just will this and, presto, I am changed?  Does it take a while, and if so, what is the endpoint to which I am striving?

A change of heart is a qualitatively new set of feelings and thoughts toward the one who offended you.  This usually is not some kind of instantaneous willed change but instead can take time.  The change of heart usually includes a slow transformation of anger to reduced anger, to a softened heart, which can include compassion or a willingness to suffer along with the other, who may be suffering from what was done to you or from being abused by others in the past.  As you see the other’s struggles and do not define this person predominantly by the unjust actions against you, this compassion can grow in your heart.  The endpoint is the cessation or reduction of anger toward the person and growing compassion for this person.

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