I became aware of how angry I am now toward my mother for how she dealt with me when I was a child. This occurred to me after reading your book, Forgiveness Is a Choice. Is it typical to be angry, yet to have no idea how angry you are?
Indeed, it is common to be angry and not be acutely aware of this. It is because of the psychological defense mechanisms, which include repression, suppression, and denial. If these defenses shield us from unpleasant emotions or thoughts when we are not prepared to face them head-on, then they are working in our favor. When these psychological defenses keep us from perceiving the reality of our anger, such as, “I have been treated unfairly, and I am furious about this,” then they might obstruct emotional healing. Therefore, psychological defenses can keep us from being overwhelmed in the short term. Long-term recovery from the impact of severe injustices begins with gradually realizing the intensity of one’s indignation, and this includes the lessening of the defense mechanisms that could prevent such important insights. When people begin to realize that there is a cure for intense, unhealthy anger, which is forgiveness, then there is a tendency to have those defenses lessen so that insight into the anger and healing from it can occur.
