Is there ever a time when the process of healing takes a different turn from forgiveness? Here is an example: Suppose I forgive my partner for a certain unfairness. Then she does the same injustice again, and I forgive again. She then does this a third time. Do I drop forgiveness and move in another direction, or do I forgive again?
I have found that as a person continues with an unfair set of actions, the forgiveness process becomes more challenging because the anger can build up even more. Yet, it is under such circumstances that forgiveness remains very important so that your anger does not get in the way of your well-being or the relationship. Under the circumstances you describe, I would urge you not to abandon forgiveness but instead to carefully add the quest for justice. Forgive and ask the person to please change the behavior that is upsetting you. It may take time for the other person to change the behavior, but if you see genuine effort, this may be an encouragement for you.
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