How can I know whether my anger is controlling me or whether I am in control of my anger?

You can ask yourself these questions:

  1. Am I dwelling on what happened to me? Do I ruminate often on the other person and the situation that was unfair to me?
  1. Does this rumination interfere with my sleep?
  1. Am I too tired too often?
  1. Do I think what happened to me is interfering with my getting on with life, with my achieving meaning and purpose in life?

If you answer yes to most of these questions, then the anger may be in control.  Forgiving can lead to an answer of “no” to most or all of these questions.  It is then that you will see that you are in control of your anger.

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