I don’t think that I have forgiven the one who abused me in childhood. The emotional wounds are deep. In working on your Process Model of Forgiveness, I have overcome my profound anger. I still have some anger, but it is manageable. What is bothering me is that I cannot seem to find any positive feelings for this person. Does this mean I have not forgiven yet?
Because you have overcome much of your deep anger toward the person, it seems to me that you have been successful so far in your forgiveness journey. Reducing anger to manageable levels is very important. Sometimes, people are so emotionally wounded that they do not have positive feelings or even positive thoughts about the other. We are all imperfect forgivers, as the late Lewis Smedes (who wrote the book Forgive and Forget, published in 1984) reminded us. So, I recommend that you be gentle with yourself and see the triumph in your forgiveness journey to this point. You are making progress. If you choose to continue this journey, keep trying to see the inherent worth in the one who hurt you. As you cultivate that in your mind and your emotions, some positive feelings may begin to emerge for you toward the person. Even if this does not occur, your continuing to forgive will help you keep the anger under control, as you are doing now. Please be encouraged by this.
