I know you distinguish between forgiving and reconciling. Yet, I still have a fear that if I forgive my ex-boyfriend, who was quite abusive, then I might be tempted to give it another try, which I do not want to do. What would you suggest to me in this frustrating situation?
You need to be strong in your thinking about what reconciliation actually is. You would need trust that he has remorse (inner sorrow), repentance (the sincere proclamation of that sorrow), and recompense (making up, as best he can, for the abusive behavior). You can forgive from the heart and be rid of the resentment, which could be more damaging to you than to him if you keep hatred in your heart. As you forgive, guard against a hasty reconciliation, which may not come if he remains abusive.
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