If a person is in denial about his anger, how can he possibly break that denial? My partner has issues with his family, particularly from when he was a child, and he refuses to see this.
Denial of anger can have repercussions for one’s emotional well-being. A key may be this: See if your partner is willing to examine his inner world. Try to get him to see the inner discontent, possible fatigue, and even possible unhappiness—without asking about causes yet. If these can be uncovered, the next question is: Are you ready to try to reduce or even cure much of this? If his answer is yes, then you can move to the next question: What is the cause of this inner disruption? He might focus on current issues, such as frustration at work or other present issues. Try to move him back farther in time, eventually to his childhood, where you then can examine these more direct causes. If and when he sees the connection between how he was treated as a child and his current inner unrest, the next question is this: Would you like to reduce the inner discontent from your childhood experiences? If he answers yes, then you can propose forgiveness, but be sure to define it accurately, particularly stating that to forgive is not to excuse unjust behavior.
