My husband has frequent temper tantrums. When I ask him to quiet down, he just gets angry. He says he has a right to these outbursts. So, my question to you is this: Could my forgiving him open the door for him to keep up this frustrating pattern?
You are aware that your husband has an anger problem needing work. Forgiveness does not directly address that issue. Forgiveness will help you to reduce your own anger at his anger. Your forgiving him may help him to quiet inside at least temporarily. Yet, he needs work on his anger in addition to your forgiving him. I suggest that you practice forgiveness, and then, when your feelings are calm, approach him when all is going well. Explain as calmly and directly as you can that he has a problem that needs to be addressed. Please point out that this does not mean you are condemning him or that he is a bad person. We all have our weaknesses, and anger outbursts are one of his. Support him as he adjusts to this truth. He and you together should examine what in the past has led to such anger within him. Perhaps he, too, needs to forgive someone (or more than one person). Your examining that and his forgiveness may work wonders for the control of his anger now.
