How does my giving a gift to the one who hurt me break the power that the person has over me?

This gift-giving is part of the amazing paradox of forgiving: As you give to the other, it is you who experiences healing.  Our science supports this view.  As people go through our Process Model of Forgiveness, they tend to reduce in anger, anxiety, and depression and to increase in self-esteem and hope.  You can read a description of some of these studies in Enright and Fitzgibbons (2015), Forgiveness Therapy. Washington, DC: APA Books.

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