I want to face the person who wronged me after I’ve forgiven. I feel that my forgiveness is lacking if I avoid confrontation. It is insufficient to simply think, feel, and even act in a positive way. For me to forgive, the other must change. Do you concur?
I concur that, if a sincere, trustworthy reconciliation is to be achieved, the other person should change. If the primary objective is to exercise the moral virtue of forgiveness, then I disagree. I take it from your comment that you want justice, which is admirable. However, forgiveness and justice are not synonymous. Recognize that confronting someone is a way to pursue justice. In order to avoid an unpleasant encounter, I advise forgiving before pursuing justice. Better justice-seeking and justice-outcomes can arise from doing justice after forgiveness.
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