What are the dangers of confusing forgiveness with excusing?
Consider two dangers. First, if you excuse the behavior, you are saying it was not so bad. You, therefore, may go into the relationship as before, opening yourself up to further hurt. When you do not excuse the behavior, you can strive for fairness as you forgive. As a second danger, equating forgiveness with excusing focuses on the other person’s behavior rather than on the other person directly. It will be hard to truly forgive in such a circumstance because you will not be working on having mercy on the offending person; instead, you will concentrate on the behavior. A focus on the behavior is too narrow to get a full view of the other as a worthwhile person.
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