Might highly angry parents inadvertently be setting up their children to bully others in school and, once they are adults, to be difficult partners in marriage?
This depends on what the child has learned from observations of the parents. If the developing child does not reflect on the potentially destructive pattern, then, yes, the child may begin to show bullying behaviors in school and repeat the pattern of a conflictual relationship with a partner in adulthood. Yet it is possible that the son or daughter might gain wisdom from the parents’ fighting and realize that such a pattern is unhealthy. Thus, the person may deliberately commit to not following the parents’ behavior. In other words, insight along with a commitment to not imitate the conflictual behavior might spare the person from repeating the parents’ behavioral pattern now and in adulthood. Such insights to occur in childhood likely will need a sensitive and supportive adult to aid in the child’s learning about anger and its displacement. This requires wisdom on the adult-as-teacher’s part to avoid the error of excessive criticism toward the child’s parents.
