have a complicated situation. My father left our family when I was a child. Once I was grown, he came to me, asking for my forgiveness. I was angry and refused to forgive. Now I am feeling badly about that. Should I ask my father to forgive me for my insensitive treatment toward him when he humbly asked for forgiveness?

You were not ready to forgive your father, and now it seems that you are. Please forgive your father first, if you have not done so. Then go to him and ask for his forgiveness. Please be patient with him because he may be hurt by your earlier refusal. Also, please consider forgiving yourself for not forgiving him earlier. Please be gentle with yourself on this. After all, the hurt you suffered from your father is deep, and you needed time to sort it all out.

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