There are moments when I simply don’t want to forgive. When I feel so indifferent about forgiving, what do you recommend?
Forgiveness includes our feelings, but it includes so much more. As a moral virtue, it has the characteristics that all the other moral virtues (such as justice, patience, and kindness) include: one’s will to engage in the virtue, one’s thoughts, and how one behaves.
When your feelings are indifferent, please focus on your will to forgive. Your free-will motivation usually is stronger than your feelings. Also, try to focus on your thoughts (“I forgive Person A for…..”). Try to cultivate thoughts of the inherent worth of the other person, seeing this person as worthwhile, not because of what was done to you, but in spite of this. Finally, try to behave in a forgiving way even if you do not feel like it. A smile or a kind word to the person is a step toward forgiveness.
