I am trying to forgive a family relative. My immediate family members keep saying negative things about the person. When I explain to my immediate family members that I am trying to forgive the person, then they intensify their negative judgements against this person. How can I forgive under this circumstance?
Your forgiving is being made more challenging because of the constant negative statements from people whom you love. Yet, please keep in mind that their choice not to forgive is not your choice. Their views need not stay as your view. Yes, you will have to struggle against those negative statements, but here is my suggestion: Every time you hear a negative statement about your relative, say to yourself—-to yourself silently—something positive about the person. Say privately to yourself, “I choose to forgive the person.” These exercises, repeated over time, should help you to forgive even if your family members continue with the negative statements.